Limbo

No, I'm not referring to the party game that tests your flexibility. I'm talking about the place if you can call it that.  "An intermediate state or place" as Webster defines it.  My life has pretty much been turned upside down over the past four weeks. And I'm not sure which way is up right now. What's changed you ask?

I spent the last 18 years of my life as a student, learning in a classroom. It defined who I was. On May 1st, that came to an end. My patients don't exist on paper any more. The decisions I make every day could be the difference between life and death (well sort of, I'm still supervised at this point). And in a few short months I will join the real world of work. I'm not really sure what that's going to look like.

A few days later, some of my closest friends of the last five years moved away. For good. And I stayed behind. The girls I met during freshman orientation, that lived two doors down, that survived the roller coaster called pharmacy school with me moved on with their lives. I'm happy for them, ecstatic to see how God continues to bless them. But I'm terribly sad they're gone.  I feel pretty lost without them. And lonely, at least for now.

In a few short days, I will turn 24. Somehow that feels much older than 23, don't ask me why. And I've realized that I don't quite know how to be a grown-up.  Navigating that funny spot between college and adulthood is difficult.  I'm not sure what adult Amy is supposed to look like or how she should act.  Other folks seem to have a hard time with it too.

With all that being said, I'm excited for all this newness, the anticipation of good things to come. But I'm a little lost too. And for now, I think that's okay.